Hello, dreamers. Though this round of queries is winding down, I may have found a way to get my foot in the door, thanks to the gift that seems to keep on giving: my winning Writers of the Future.

During the award show, I was stunned when one of my fellow winners thanked his agent. What’s more, I recognized the name as one of the agents I’d queried (who I haven’t heard back from yet). An agent who’s near the top of my preferred list. Naturally the moment the signing event after the show was done, I made a beeline to him and asked if he could put a good word in. He suggested I might try sending a gentle nudge, showing off my grand prize win. I’ve since learned that one of the judges (who also edits the anthology) is another of this agent’s clients.

So I may have an edge I’d only dreamed of before: personal connections to an agent. Of course, being me, I’d say this has me feeling “cautiously optimistic”. Not because of how long I’ve been at this (compared to most querying authors, I’ve been at it for like five seconds), but because I’ve learned to be skeptical of anything that looks like an “easy in”. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about publishing so far, it’s that there is no easy way.

Shortcuts in Publishing

In case I haven’t said it enough, querying sucks. It’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of waiting. it’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. At times it’s downright degrading. Nobody likes it; not even agents. So when the waiting drags out from weeks to months, and the rejections start pouring in, it’s hard to resist the urge to start scanning the fine print for loopholes.

Because there’s gotta be an easier way, right? I mean, every single published author can’t have gone through this same miserable process, right? Right?!

Well…sort of. The truth is, while there are writers who’ve found ways to bypass the traditional method of cold queries, they’re in the extreme minority. And most of those shortcuts you’re thinking of aren’t as promising as they may seem. Many, if not all, of these I’ve touched on before. But I feel it’s worth it to bring them all together to underscore my point. So let’s start with the easiest one:

I can find an agent through a pitch event

Over the past few years, pitch events on social media platforms have become an increasingly popular alternative to the cold-query method. And for good reason: they’re fun. There’s a lot less pressure than with cold queries. Plus, pitch events emphasize a different skill set from sending queries. They reward writers who excel in graphic design, social media optimization, and marketing. So you participate in a pitch event like QuestPit or PosterPit, put up some cool posts, get an agent like, and poof! You get an agent.

Not so fast. While it’s true that pitch events give writers a chance to show off one of the most vital skills of modern debut authors, even a “like” is no guarantee. Most agents will ask that any writer who receives a like immediately send along their query package, which means they’ll be looking at the same stuff you’ve sent off on all those unsuccessful cold queries. Being able to point to interest in your pitches may buy you some added consideration, but in the end your query is still your query. I know several writers who absolutely killed it on pitch events, and the resultant queries still failed to produce even a partial request.

What’s more, if you’ve been thinking there are just way too many pitch events these days to keep track of, remember that agents feel the same way. As with writers, a growing number of agents are experiencing “Pitch Event Fatigue”, and as a result industry participation in all events has been dropping.

I can find an agent at a conference or convention

At many writing conventions, it’s possible to pay for the chance to meet with an agent one-on-one. Typically the way this goes is you pay a fee to sit with an agent for a brief period of time (usually no more than thirty minutes) and pitch your novel to them face-to-face.

As I’ve learned recently from visiting bookstores, there’s real value in face-to-face connection. So much of what happens in the modern publishing industry is impersonal. Agents communicate with editors and clients via email or the occasional phone call. It’s no longer uncommon for an author to go through most of their career without ever meeting their agent in person. Thus, actually sitting down with an agent can make a big difference. And as with pitch events, it relies on a different skillset: in this case, the ability to communicate effectively with your voice. If you’re a good public speaker, this could be a good way to make headway in your querying.

But in the end, this was basically pitch events before pitch events were pitch events. While an agent will likely give your work a closer look if they’ve seen your face and heard your voice, there are still no guarantees. And more than likely, they’ll still want you to send your query package.

I can have my writer friend hook me up with their agent

Right now I’m here, and this shortcut is on the list because, as I said, I’m still cautious. This one is called a referral: someone in the publishing industry, be they an agented author, another agent, or what have you, recommends you to an agent.

This one sure looks appealing. Not only do you have someone who’s already involved in publishing to vouch for you, but you don’t actually have to speak with anyone. And for the typical author, who tends to be painfully introverted, that sounds fantastic. But there are some hefty caveats.

First, it’s important to remember you’re not asking an agent to represent someone who’s already published; you’re asking them to represent you. Maybe they like your fellow author’s work, but that doesn’t mean they’ll like yours, no matter how great of a guy you are. Having someone else to make the introduction may help get your foot in the door, but if an agent doesn’t like your work, well, that’s that.

Second, be wary of agents who refer you to another agent. Many agents tend not to like that; they may feel insulted by the insinuation that while the referring author doesn’t think your work is good enough, they figure this other agent is pathetic enough to want it (I’ve heard this directly from agents). If an agent you’ve queried refers you to another agent, make sure you ask if they would be willing to reach out to the other agent themselves. If they are not, by all means query the agent you were referred to, but do not mention the referral (this suggestion comes directly from agents Carly Waters and CeCe Lyra, co-hosts of “The Shit No One Tells You About Writing”).

I can bypass querying by self-pubbing first, then finding a publisher

I covered this one in another recent “Dear Sir or Madam” post; it’s the method I call the “Back Door”. And as I said in that post, while it’s possible to find a publisher to take up your self-pubbed work, it’s vanishingly unlikely. Your work will need to be A) a runaway bestseller, B) have tons of (positive) reviews, and C) fall within a highly-marketable genre in the current marketplace.

And don’t forget the Shy Girl Scandal. The revelation that Mia Ballard’s novel was largely written by AI became a costly embarrassment for a well-respected publisher. I expect this will serve as a cautionary tale to purchasing editors in the future, turning this potential shortcut from vanishingly unlikely to nigh impossible.

I can just forget querying and self-publish my book

…you can do that, yes. But as I’ve repeatedly stressed, it’s a grave mistake to regard self-publishing as an easy alternative to trad-pub. Furthermore, it’s demeaning to all the hard-working indie authors struggling to gain traction.

To briefly rehash my prior comments, the most important thing to remember about self-publishing is that the name isn’t an accident: if you self-publish, you don’t just not have a publisher. You are the publisher. Everything that would normally be handled by someone else, from editing to cover art to marketing and sales, must now be handled either by you or a third party you pay to do it. And while there are a lot of excellent, reputable freelance editors out there (my friend K.T. Carlisle is one of them), for every reputable editor you’ll find scores of scam artists, eager to prey on authors looking to strike it big.

Good editors are not cheap. And being an indie author takes either a lot of time or a lot of money. Just ask one. Many spend significantly more than they make on their first several books before they start to show a profit.

All of this underscores my overarching point, which is:

There Are No Shortcuts

Period. Yes, there are highly-successful authors who have made it using each of the aforementioned long-shot strategies. But in the end, your chances of replicating their success are so remote as to warrant no consideration. And that’s not even taking into consideration the fact that every author who’s made it through unconventional means, from Hugh Howey to Andy Weir, still put in that all-important invisible work. They didn’t get to where they are overnight. You shouldn’t expect to, either.

Even my recent leap forward can’t be regarded as anything close to a sure thing. Yes, I won the grand prize in Writers of the Future. But my chances of doing so were so slim that, when I found out I’d won first place in quarter three, I’d already submitted a story for the following quarter. And by the way, I still don’t have an agent yet.

What’s true in life is true in publishing: if it looks too good to be true, it usually is. It’s an unfortunate truth that scam artists looking to prey on unsuspecting writers know as well as we do how draining the query process can be. As soon as you accept that #amquerying label, they’ll crawl out of the woodwork, eager to take advantage of your willingness to do just about anything to cut the line.

Always remain grounded. Remember that querying isn’t a race; it’s a marathon. And while it’s worthy of boasting if you land an agent after less than a year in the trenches, if it takes a couple years (or more), people will still read your book. Time and patience. – MK